Second Child Syndrome

My family likes to tease me saying that I have second child syndrome. It’s the truth. I do. I don’t hide it. And I don’t try to hide it.

Second child syndrome = second child always gets jipped

That’s right. I said it.

Let’s examine my own childhood.

When naming my sister, my mother wanted to name her Stephanie. My dad didn’t “think she was a Stephanie” so they named her something else.

I came along {pematurel} and they name me on the way to the hospital. And what do I get? The reject name. Stephanie. No middle name, by the way {my sister has one}.

Ask my mom for my sister’s baby book and she’ll dig it up for you. But don’t dare ask for mine! Why? Because I don’t have one.

Almost every time my family gets together, the second child syndrome is brought up. We joke about it a lot and it is pretty funny. It is nothing that my parents did intentionally. It just happened.

And I understand why now.

I have been struggling a lot with this. How can I make sure that this child doesn’t feel jipped and fall prey to the Second Child Syndrome?

Then it hit me.

There is nothing I can do. It will happen. It’s natural.

So does it really matter that we are reusing E’s baby bedding and not redoing the room for baby #2? No it doesn’t.

Does it matter that we will probably never have to buy clothing for baby #2 because E had so much? No it doesn’t.

No matter how I hard I try to make things “equal”, he will no doubt at one point in his life make me feel like it wasn’t.

It’s just the nature of the beast!

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11 Comments

  1. I go through the same thing with Calvin…..I usually say at birthdays & christmas that he doesn't need anything, Or joke that he gets nothing! But truth is he really really doesn't need anything. when #2 gets older he may/may not like the same things as his big brother, so you do get to buy some more toys(oh joy!!) Funny thing is that #1 will want to play with #2's toys & vise versa! Sometimes you have to buy 2 of whatever you buy b/c they will fight over the one!

    I always felt jipped as a kid(youngest of 5), like I never had the new cool things my frends did. So I tend to want to get both kids everything they want(but I don't) it is not easy especially when they are the same sex, born the same time. You will figure it out as you go along and try to make both boys feel special!

  2. I was the first, so I can't speak to 2nd child syndrome. I can say that my "baby" brother (#3) was spoiled the most and the favorite. And even though I was first, my mom favored my 2 brothers.

    I always struggle with how I'll love #2 as much as J. I can't imagine having the same feelings. But I guess you make room in your heart.

  3. My brother and I are 10 years apart, so it was almost like we were onlies. But I do see second child syndrome with my own 2.

    Except for clothes (my kids are different sexes), my son gets a lot of hand-me-downs. But at the same time, he is the baby of the 2 so he does have his moments of getting spoiled.

  4. I'm going through the same thing with my boys! Poor little O has JD's old room, old clothes, old toys… and when people ask what gifts they can give him, I can't even think of anything. JD had so much, and I feel it is so wasteful to buy something we already have, and our home is only so big. Hopefully when they are a little older they will have different interests so they can each have their own "new" things. My younger sister and I were both in the same activities, so unfortunately for her, she got my old clothes, dance shoes, etc.

  5. i can honestly say I have baby books for each of my boys completely filled out up to 2 years after that it gets a little sketchy.. I was and still am the baby.

  6. This post made me laugh because I myself am a second child. I never thought I had a "syndrome" but now I'm sure I do. 🙂

  7. I'm the youngest of 4 so you can imagine the level of hand-me-downs and stuff the others no longer wanted that I got. I think my brother has something like 3 or 4 baby books, mine is essentially empty and we recently discovered that about half of the few pictures in there are actually of my middle sister. Good stuff.

  9. That's funny…I'm the oldest (of two, my sister and I) and BOTH of us think we got jipped. She thinks she was stuck with all the leftovers, and I think she got all the attention because she was the "baby." Clearly can't please everyone.

  10. If it's any consolation, in my family the oldest (me) never got away with anything and my sister (#2) could do anything she wanted.

    It does remind me though I should pick up a baby book for our second, due in July!

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