The Ironies of Motherhood

I was reading threw my mountain of magazines and came across the “Parenting Top Ten” from July. It was titled “The Ironies of Motherhood.” I love this list. It gets a great big ole’ Amen from me.

The two that stood out to me the most were the first two.

1. That you could miss your little one so much all day at work but be unbelievably relieved when he falls asleep an hour after you get home. Don’t get me wrong, I love my E. But lately his little boy true colors have been shining through. He’s throwing toys, hitting me in the face with them, throwing tantrums, running me over with his lawnmower, yelling me name non-stop, you get the idea. I miss him so much during the day and can’t wait to see his smiling face when I pick him at daycare. But it pretty much ends there. Please tell me this is a phase and it will end soon.
2. You ask your child to share toys and she won’t; but if Dora the Explorer asked her to remove someone’s pancreas, she’d grab a scalpel. E would probably do anything as long as Elmo was the one telling him to do it. Damn, that fuzzy red monster. He is fascinated by him. It’s the only part of Sesame Street that he will pay attention to. That kid would do ANYTHING for Elmo.

Some other ironies from the top ten that I for see in my future are: 

       7. Until he was 11, your son thought girls were yucky and nothing you said convinced him otherwise.  Now you just wish he would find Alexa next door (and her belly shirts) less appealing.God help my son. You know how you always see the over protected father in TV shows and movies. That will be me with my son. Don’t misunderstand this as no one will ever be good enough for E. I will NOT be one of

those MILs. No way, no how. But, I will be watching those little hoochies with close eye.

       9. How quickly giving your child an allowance for chores turned into her refusing to do anything unless she’s paid. Growing up, I didn’t get an allowance for doing chores. It was expected and I did it.I
had a true fear of my parents (a good one, not a bad one). If they said to do it, I did it (except for those pisky teen years). My allowance was just something I got on Friday nights so that I could buy dinner and crap at the
mall. I think I will follow this with E. He’ll be rewarded for doing chores with verbal praise and maybe the occasional prize but I won’t pay him to clean his room.

What’s one of your ironies of being a mom or dad?