Messy House Guilt

I was dreading to come home from Chicago. Not just because our trip was over but I was slammed back to reality the minute I walked in the door.

My house is a disaster.

And it’s stressing me out.

It’s not like my house was ever pristine. I’m not fooling anyone with that. I have never been known to be the most organized or orderly person. I always struggled with keeping my room clean growing up. In fact, there were several times in an effort to actually get me to clean my room, my father trashed it so that I had no choice but to clean it. Truth be told, if I had my way, I would have just climbed over the pile into my bed and left it.

Things have not changed much since then. Maybe I’m a hoarder. Not in a piles of garbage and animal waste hoarder but in a “oh I can’t throw that out it means something to me” hoarder. I have come to the realization that I do have some strange emotional attachment to stuff. And its just that. It’s just stuff. Papers, artwork, magazines.

Just stuff.

But I just cant seem to get myself to throw to out no matter how much it is stressing me out.

Whenever I visit someone’s “perfect” home, I wonder why I can’t have that? Is it  because our house is too small? Is because of I have too much just stuff? Is it because I am just lazy? Is it a combination of all of that?

I’m seriously at the point where I just want to grab the biggest dumpster I can find and toss it all. I want my home to be inviting not cluttered. The “just stuff” is making everything seem so cramped that I don’t feel like our house is a home.

Just a space to hold the stuff.

And that’s not what a home should feel like. It’s not what I want my home to feel like.

I need your help. I need your tips. I need a housekeeper {any takers?}.

How do you keep your house clean? Or are you like me and just can never seem to keep on top of it? I’ll take whatever advice you got!



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  1. I am the same way. I want a nice, clean and neat house but it never works out. I have kept every piece of school art work from Ben & Sean {Ben has been in school for 3 years already}. I know that I need to ditch it but I can’t decide what to keep and what to trash. My husband likes to keep magazines and crap like that. I think that he is worse than I am. But I am trying. I don’t know how my friends have such neat homes {and they have 3 and 4 kids}. Where do they put the mail, the newspaper, the pens, stickers, etc???? I know that we are crammed into our townhouse so I don’t have much storage…. It’s just frustrating! But I feel your pain!

    1. I would like to know where they put it all too! There has to be things shoved in drawers and closets, right?

  2. Ha, I can so relate to what you just said. Or at least I could. Take it one room at a time, one week at a time, and be intentional in keeping things you really need. The rest of the stuff, don’t throw it out. Donate it to a local shelter or thrift store. Someone can always benefit from all our old “stuff.” Good luck!

  3. It took my several years (and kids) to realize that I needed to just throw stuff out. But now I’ve worked out a system where I can either throw things out, resell them, or give them to friends with kids, or to consignment, etc. I feel better when I know someone else is using the stuff I’m giving up.

    1. I need to get in the habit of throwing things out immediately. Like when I go through mail, throw the junk out instead of sticking it in the pile!

  4. I’ve been really awful with this for the past few years. It honestly took us moving at the beginning of the summer for me to get my act together. As we were packing, I refused to bring anything that we didn’t absolutely need. So I got to start over from scratch- and that’s been much easier to keep on top of. So my suggestion is moving(I’m so practical 😉 )

    1. There are some days that I would love to just pack up and move and start fresh! But then it would mean I would have to go through everything first.

  5. So not going to offer to clean your house…but….I would recommend hiring someone to do it. Seriously – you’re a buy woman and you deserve that break. The last thing that you need to worry about is cleaning your house!
    BUT if you insist on doing it yourself, employ your team. Have the boy help as much as they can with tidying, get Mike to clean the bathrooms {cause EW!} and you take care of dusting and vacuuming.

  6. I am the same way. After work I walk into our home and I just want to cry. It needs a deep cleaning SO BAD. not to mention the toys have taken over our living room!!
    I really need to get on a schedule of small tasks every day. I think people who clean their home daily are the ones with the perfect home!! lol
    I think the hardest part is the toys. I need to go through toys and donate them!!

    1. I need to deep clean and then just stay on top of it. I just don’t have the motivation to deep clean!

  7. I feel the same way – you are not alone! I love a clean house, my mom kept a really clean house and keeps my house clean in the winters when she stays with us, but i really struggle to do the same when its just the 3 of us. I really wish I could do a better job at it- but when it comes down to time, I have others things i’d much rather be doing !!

    1. Thanks for making me feel like I am no alone! I too would rather be doing something else. If I could just get a handle on it now, I could then just keep up with it. I need a fresh start!

  8. I have this problem too. Actually, my problem was that I was using my room as a catch all. My kids started a running joke that Hoarders was coming to my house. It started because I was overextended and continued because I got so overwhelmed by all the clutter that it seemed easier to just shut the door.
    A few weeks ago, my husband made me tackle the room. It is cleaner than it has ever been. We started sorting other things after that. We are planning on moving next spring/summer, so I have a goal now of when things need to be done.
    Also, I have a housekeeper, and it really doesn’t help with the clutter issue. It just keeps the clutter dust free 🙂

    1. I am not anywhere near hoarder status {ok, maybe a little in certain rooms}. I would love a housekeeper after I get everything in order.

  9. Girl. I feel ya. I have no problem trashing stuff, but I still can’t get myself organized. My best advice? Hire an organizer. LOL. NO joke, I just had Darla come over a few weeks ago and she’s going to help me set up some systems that work for ME. That is the key, she taught me – finding a system that works for you and your habits.

    1. I am really contemplating hiring an organizer. I really need someone to show me the ways!

  10. It’s good to be at the point where you say – I’m ready to tackle this! That’s the first step. Actually wanting to tackle stuff and not just thinking it’s a nice idea that you’ll never get around to. I hope I don’t sound too pushy but I LOVE organizing and decluttering, so here are my suggestions:
    1. Have 2 large black or green trash bags in the room your working on at all times. 1 is for trash; 1 is for donations. Trash bags as opposed to laundry baskets work well because ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ If you put stuff in a basket, it’s easier to see it the next day and think “ehhh i probably want that afterall.’

    2. When you take donations depends on your personality. (Either all at once at the end of EVERYTHING or as you go.) I’m a ‘get rid of it as I go’ person. Because – if it’s in trash bags in my mudroom, it still feels like clutter. If I finish decluttering my living room with trinkets I could care less about and drop them off at good will, my house feels lighter, more inviting, calmer, and it feels like I really made progress. But, if you will like you made better progress by taking it all at the end, throw those donation bags in the garage in the mean time and look forward to seeing the massive pile of stuff you can get out of your home.

    3. Keep the end goal in mind – less clutter = more inviting, calm, relaxing space = peaceful home.

    4. One room at a time. Prioritize this house project as if it was a kitchen renovation & you couldn’t do anything until it was done.

    5. Turn on some great music or a brain candy book and go to town!

  11. I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. We’re on the go constantly with work, school, kids’ activities and PTO stuff, and the piles upon piles are out of control. I think about paying someone to come help, and then? Too embarrassed. Because, well, it’s ridiculous up in here. Here from PYHO, staying to see if maybe we can push each other into success! 🙂

  12. FLyLady! It’s a huge help and we do monthly, sometimes weekly round ups of stuff to send out to Goodwill. There is still more to do, but we are getting there.

  13. I’m not too bad at releasing, donating or tossing junk, but it’s been hard. Like a few years ago, I threw out notebooks I’d held on to for 20years or more of my writing. Finally, I realized none of it was relevant or ME anymore. But, you’d flip if I uploaded a photo of the playroom. It’s…pure pandemonium. We clean it weekly, but by 2 days later, you can barely enter the room. So, yes, I totally get this, that’s what closets are for though? Love, joy, and a happy home outweighs mess any day (took me a long time to learn that…)

  14. I have only gotten good at letting go of unneeded (but meaningful) items since having kids. But for day to day stuff, without my beloved housekeeper, my husband and I would likely either be no longer married or buried under grime.

  15. I feel you, girl! I felt so burdened this summer with STUFF (and zero time to do much about it). I started by decluttering little by little every day. It’s feeling much lighter in here. I’m planning a huge garage sale in a few weeks and that motivates me as well. Kinda like eating, nothing tastes as good as clean feels so now when I see something I like in the store or swag at a conference I keep on walking! Let me know how it goes, I’m using the hashtag #summertodeclutter if you decide to go for it!

  16. When you allow yourself to breathe and you stop driving yourself crazy over this….it seems like you can find great ways to simplify. Great stuff

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