Raising Considerate Children

Each day presents us with numerous opportunities to do kind things for others. Some of us act on those opportunities. Others just let them pass on by.

As a parent, my goal is to raise considerate children. One of my biggest pet peeves is inconsiderate people {adult or child}. Every day you see someone being unkind and in my head I hope that my children aren’t like that one day.

Why? Because children who are considerate are more likely to make friends and enjoy stable relationships. Makes sense right? If you are kind, people will want  to be your friend. They are also more likely to be content.

Ethan came home from school a few weeks ago with a star student award. He received this award for “always using kind words.” Inside, I was beaming. Ok, ok, I was beaming on the outside as well. We must be doing something right!

how to raise considerate children

But, as a parent, you always wonder if you could be doing more to raise your child to be considerate.

So how can you make sure you are raising considerate children?

1. Model kindness. It’s how your children will learn to be kind. When they see you being kind to others {and them}, they will model that behavior with their peers.

2. Hold them accountable. I truly believe in the catch them being good. I shared with you how we use our Pom Pom jar. Not only do we use that reward doing chores and being a good listener, but Ethan and Ben can receive a Pom Pom if we catch them being good. You better believe Ethan got a few extra Pom Poms for bringing that award home!

3. Stay positive. This is one I struggle with. Sometimes, it’s hard to find the positive in a situation. And it’s a lot easier to fly off the handle and point out the negatives which just creates more negativity. I really need to work on bringing out the positive in a situation. Mike, on the other hand, is really good at this. He will always say “I know you were trying to help, but…”. He always can find a positive in a negative situation!

4. Recognize their feelings. This ties into staying positive. We try to let them know that we understand their feelings. We also try to offer a solution.  By acknowledging their feelings and offering a solution, we remove any frustration they may be having.

5. Look for the teachable moment. The best moments to teach being considerate are usually the ones that aren’t planned. You have to seize the opportunity! Use those moments to help your child understand what it means to be caring and why they should always be considerate of others.

How are you raising considerate children?

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  1. Being from the south I was raised on the yessir yesmaam generation. That did not change with my boys. Regardless of anything else their teachers and other adults would always stop me to thank me for teaching them manners. All while rolling their eyes at the kids who brushed past without thinking twice to get in a door. My boys would stay after and help put up chairs, straighten desks, whatever. The youngest is all the time bringing home little extras for his constant desire to help someone. When he was sick for a week with bronchitis a teacher called concerned about him and gushed about what a sweet considerate polite child he was. Those days, even if today they make me pull my hair out with teenage angst and hormones, make me beam knowing somewhere, at some time, it sunk in.

  2. Great post! I struggle with the staying positive, too. Maybe if I got more sleep I’d be more positive in general 🙂 I like how your husband frames it, though. And way to go, Ethan!

  3. You know that saying – ‘actions speak louder than words’? I tend to abide by that (and when that doesn’t work, gentle words of encouragement to make sure the kids are considerate of others). 🙂 Love this post – great advice! 🙂

  4. I agree totally! We have always instilled the “please and thank you” with B&C and people comment on it. Sad to think it is unusual for people to be polite!

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