I recently caught wind of the Anderson Cooper episode in which he interviewed a woman who thought all stay-at-home moms were lazy. Boy is she wearing her judgey pants proudly or what?
I admit that I can see how one would think a stay-at-home mom is lazy.
I mean that mom sleeping on the couch with her eight month old couldn’t possibly be snuggling with a teething baby.
Or that mom who left her kids to play in the playroom so she could grab a hot shower couldn’t possibly be in desperate need of that shower. After all, she just took one 4 days ago.
Oh hey look at that mom over there. Aren’t they the same yoga pants she was wearing yesterday? Shouldn’t her laundry be done?
That one. Well, she is on the computer all the time. She couldn’t possibly be working and watching her children. Oh no.
Can you believe that one? Throwing those toys around. She couldn’t possibly be making cleaning up a fun game instead of chore.
And oh my God, that one over there, did you see her make her child scrub the toilet?! He couldn’t possibly enjoy doing that.
No, not at all.
Look, I’ve been on both sides of the coin. No one side has it easier or better than the other.
We both deal with the never ending mom guilt. We both deal with judgmental stares and comments. But at the end of the day, we all want our kids to be happy, our houses to be clean, and our sanity in check.
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You are right, both sides are hard, and we shouldn’t stand here judging anyone. Great Post!
I’ve heard about this Anderson Cooper episode, but I refuse to watch it because I know it will make me mad.
Whether you work or stay home, they’re both hard. I think too often, one side refuses to see the truth to the other side.
I think this will be an ongoing debate amongst moms! Truth is neither side is greener. It would be great if we could all support one another but unfortunately that doesnt happen. I get judged a lot by being a stay at home mom mostly from my own family.. it drives me crazy
Well said!!
I work outside the home and I have that never ending list like every other mom out there… but here’s the thing… I ignore some of the stuff on it just to spend more time with the kids. Who cares if the house isn’t perfect!
I hate all the judgement! I haven’t seen this episode either- and not sure I could w/o my blood boiling.
Great post. Unfortunately, I am not a SAHM, but I’d love to be. I get way more done (blogging, FB, etc.) when I’m at work than I do at home. **shhhh! don’t tell my boss that!***
well said, Steph! I don’t understand why women are constantly battling with this. Everyone’s life has struggles and chaos, no matter if they work in or out of their house.
I think the real truth here is that being a Mom is hard work. And to compensate, we all do it our own way. There’s no right way to parent a kid. I hate the judgements other moms make but I know I also make them. And I need to get better at remembering that the best way to parent is the way that feels right. Great post, Steph.
SPEAK IT GIRL! Augh!
I used to be that lady and when unemployment morphed into SAHM, I got the deal. Divide and conquer exists everywhere. I spend three days doing laundry, cooking from scratch, volunteering, homework… Shall I go on? Walk a mile in another’s shoes before judging.
I freely admit that I HAD to go back to work because I couldn’t hack it as a stay at home mom 😉
Getting laid off in 2008 was a blessing in disguise for me. I got to stay at home for 18 months with my kids and learn first hand that the grass is NOT greener. I’m grateful for the time I got with them; I wouldn’t have change a thing – but the ability to “do stuff tomorrow” was way too much of a temptation to me and definately wasn’t the mom I wanted to be. I was tired all the time. I need the threat of deadlines and limited time to get stuff done!!!
Love this! The cycle of judgement is a nasty cycle. I find I often think people are judging me; then I find myself judging them and then they, of course, judge me. Being a mother is hard work–no matter how you do it.
I hate judgemental people. Even more so because their lives are usually just as crazy (or more so) then everyone elses. I’m sure it’s just to hard to get off that high horse.
I would LOVE for her to spend one day in your shoes. Just one!!! That’s probably all she could handle.
Well said! We each have our own struggles – even between moms. It’s a shame that we aren’t all helpful rather than clamoring to criticize.
At risk of starting a poo-storm…I’ll throw this out there. I really don’t think that you “get it” as a mom until you’ve actually done both. Lemme explain. I worked all thru 1st pregnancy, 1st kiddo, then 2nd pregnancy…2nd one was just turning one when I got notice I was losing my job. Now, as devastating as it is to hear that your job is ending, I was excited at the opportunities.
After all, I (while working) was gone from my home every day from 6:30 am to 4:40 pm, including my commute. WOW! I was going have *50 hours* put back into my time! Woo hoo! I was going to clean out the garage, the basement, make crafts I see in magazines that I never have time to do, cook everything from scratch, take my kids to the play ground every day……….life was indeed going to be grand with this extra 50 hours each week.
And of course, reality check is that kids are a huge time suck. None of my planned activities got done. We still eat a ton of pizza because I run out of time to cook and my garage and my basement are still trashed, 2 years later. So I can sorta see how, if you’ve never done anything but work out of the home, not really get it.
Not that I was ever judgy with a “and what do you *do* all day you must be lazy” sorta attitude.
I was just jealous of the (perceived) extra 50 hours that you all had each week, that I didn’t.
Very well put. Great post! I believe moms have it difficult period. Whether you work inside or outside the home.
I’ve also been on both sides. And they are equally as difficult, only in completely different ways. It’s too bad we all can’t just live our own lives and stop judging everybody else’s!
This is so well put.
There’s no room for judgey in our very busy lives with these kids and work and houses and everything else.. Those mothers need to keep their opinionated feelings to themselves.
Just now seeing this post!! And you are so spot on about this topic. Stay at home or work out of the house, we’ve both got our own obstacles and guilts. People who think SAHMs are lazy has never been in those shoes!