I love Parenting Magazines Top Ten Lists. They are hysterical and I find myself relating to them quite a bit. Since it takes me a while to dig through my mountainous pile of magazines, I just got around to the February 2009 edition (don’t ask).
February’s Top Ten was “Things NOT to Feel Guilty About…” Here are my favorites.
• Having the impulse, after discovering your kid has used your $20 lipstick to draw a giant plum-colored pig on your dining room wall, to call up Brad and Angelina and ask them if they’d like another. I couldn’t tell you how many times I have had the “Kid for Sale” moments.
• Returning the fancy but useless baby gift to the store and spending the credit on shoes for yourself. Come on, we’ve all done it. Haven’t we?
• Suspecting that those start who got their prebaby bodies back in two weeks are on drugs (or have a fantastic plastic surgeon).
• Calling your jiggly belly your “mummy tummy” ten years after childbirth. Hell, I’m already using this 18 months after!
• Noticing the hot dad at the daycare. I’m just looking!
• Insisting on grown up music in the car. I’m introducing him to some culture. You have to get sick of Elmo eventually, no?
• Knowing, really knowing, with every fiber of your being, that your kid is the cutest one in the class picture. I mean, how could he not be?