The Unknown

Your first go round of pregnancy is filled with the unknown. What foods to eat {and avoid}? What to expect at doctor’s appointments? What your delivery be like? What will the pain be like? Will I remember the pain? And all the good stuff that comes afterwards {moms, you know what I’m talking about}.

The second time around you still have your unknowns but you pretty much feel like a pro. You know what to expect {when you’re expecting} and all the good times that comes afterwards.

But there’s one unknown that really has me a little on edge.

The birth.

I will be having a repeat c-section due to the emergency c-section I had with E. No option for a VBAC and I am fine with that {I knew it wasn’t a possibility}.

Even though, I am having another c-section things will be completely different {God willing}. For starters, I will be awake. I was put under for E’s birth. One minute, I had a baby in my belly. Then I went to sleep and when I woke up, poof! he was taken out and in the nursery {just like the good ‘ole days}.

I struggled a lot with all of that after E’s birth. I didn’t get to see him for over 24 hours. The hubster wasn’t in the room when he was born. We didn’t have that first family picture until almost 2 days later. It just wasn’t like how they show you in the movies. Far from it.

But this time will be different.

I will be awake.

I will hear him cry when he comes out.

I will get to see him the minute he comes out.

And it’s freaking me out just a bit.

What will it feel like? What will it sound like? Will the hubster pass out in the delivery room {$50 says he does!}? How will I feel seeing my baby boy the minute he’s born? Who will take our picture? How long until I will get to hold him?

A million questions that won’t be answered until his birthday.