What NOT to Do at a Phillies’ Game

Or any other sport event for that matter. As I mentioned earlier, we had a pretty interesting time at the Phillies‘ game last night. As we were annoyed at the drunk college kids, we began talking about things you shouldn’t do at a game. And so the list was born. This list was actually written at the game (and I have the evidence to prove it).

Yes, I wrote it on the back of a receipt! Hope I don’t need to return anything!!

1. Arrive on time. Game time is not a suggestion.

2. Drinking is optional but not required. You don’t need to be a drunken ass to have a good time (I am a prime example of that!).

3. Wait until a stoppage of play to return or leave your seat. I paid to see Cole Hamel’s butt not yours.

4. Speaking of butts, pull your pants up. I do not need to see your crack (plumbers included). Quarters anyone?

5. Do not desecrate Phillies‘ apparel…or any other clothing for that matter.

6. Keep your ta-tas in your shirt. Last time I checked, it wasn’t Mardi Gras.

7. Here’s a novel idea, children’s clothing is for children. Shop in the appropriate department.

8. It is not encouraged to bring a child under the age of 2 to a night game. No one wants to hear a cranky baby at bedtime. (This rule is waived for daytime games and playoffs).

9. I’d like to leave with all my toes, thank you. Watch where you are walking and stop stepping on them.

10. Leave your heels and pearls for home. We wouldn’t want anyone toppling off the 400 section.

11. If you are going to discuss basketball, go to a Sixer’s game.

12. Stop screaming and jumping up and down to get the player’s attention. THEY CAN’T SEE OR HEAR YOU!

13.If you want to play musical chairs, go to a children’s birthday party.

14. Don’t ever dress like this…

…can we say, offensive?

I am sure I missed some rules. If you have any additional rules to add, please leave a comment!